megawatt smile
by fairydust26
Summary: Assumptions is the mother of all failures. Buddie/Beddie Slash I don't own anything.


**Megawatt Smile**

Eddie Diaz was so incredibly screwed.

It all started a few days before Christmas. The team had gotten a call about a city bus that was hit by a truck and there they met a Marine that spend 30 hours straight traveling to get home in time to see his daughter sing her choir solo.

Bobby, Buck and Eddie went in with the Marine and watched the reunion. Buck, being the idiot with a giant heart that he was, shed a few tears while Bobby watched with a satisfied smile. Eddie, on the other hand, realised that he was in trouble.

It was fine at first. Watching the soldier reunite with his family. In his mindseye he could even see when he came home three Christmases ago from Afganistan, saw how Christoper's little face had lit up and how Shannon embraced him warmly.

Then the picture in his mind started shifting and the trouble began. Because suddenly, it was Buck in his arms. It was Buck's megawatt smile that was staring the two inches down at him. It was Buck's watery eyes, full of love, that looked at him like he was his whole world.

And when he eventually pulled himself out of his reverie, turning to his best friend that just unknowingly flipped his world upside down and Eddie's heart skipped a beat from the smile on Buck's face, Eddie knew that he wasn't just in trouble.

He was utterly screwed.

Pushing his life-altering realisation to the side for the moment, Eddie worked through the rest of his shift without trying to let on that anything was different. Especially with Buck.

By some twist of grace, Buck didn't say anything but he definitely noticed that something was wrong with Eddie. If the worried looks he kept shooting the brunette was anything to go by.

That night, when Christopher was tucked away in bed and fast asleep, Eddie allowed himself to fully think about what he realised when he was lying in bed. He was in love with Evan Buckley, his best friend. Who was the most attractive man Eddie had ever laid eyes on. Who was kind and thoughtful. Who introduced him to Carla. Who is always willing to lend a helping hand.

In all honesty, he is perfect.

There is just one big, glaring problem.

Buck is straight.

After tossing and turning into hours of the early morning as his head didn't want to quiet down for some reason, Eddie finally gave up. Heaving a defeated sigh, Eddie threw off his covers and walked to the kitchen.

Maybe some warm milk would help him sleep.

It was only half way into the minute that the microwave was taking to heat up his milk that Eddie realised what was bugging him.

Shannon. He needed to talk to her.

**9-1-1**

The next day, Eddie had the morning off and he asked his Abuela to look after Christoper - having explained to her why, and oh boy, what a conversation that was. He texted Shannon to meet him at his house, needing to actually talk to her for once instead of just ending up in bed.

Before he could even started to think of ever - or most probably never, because his best friend is straight - starting something with Buck - or anyone really, if he was being perfectly honest with himself - he needed to let go of the past first.

"I was so happy when I got you text. I thought you might still be mad at me for coming to your work." Shannon said with a smile the moment Eddie open his door. She stepped inside and went to wrap her arms around his neck, but the medic side stepped her.

"We need to talk." He told her seriously and the smile dropped from her face.

"Yeah, I guess so." Shannon whispered in agreement, eyes looking down at her heels.

Eddie turned in the direction of his living room and Shannon shut the front door before she followed after him.

"I'm going to file for divorce." Eddie said the second she was seated on the couch. He was still standing, pacing slightly as he was to jittery to sit down.

"What?" Shannon whispered, completely blindsided by his words. She was so thankful that she was sitting down or else her legs would have failed her. "Why? If this is because of me coming to your work, don't you think that it's a bit extreme?"

"No, no, it's not about that." Eddie assured her. "I just . . . It's been a long time coming, don't you think?"

"But things have been so good between us lately." She pointed out, looking up at him with glassy eyes.

"No, they're not. I mean, I've been trying, Shannon. We've both been trying like hell, but I know that we don't love each other like we used to. At least, I don't." Eddie told her honestly, feeling like crap when he saw how her face fell. "I'm sorry that's I'm hurting you, but I'm not going to lie to you or to myself any longer."

It was silent for a long moment before she nodded. "I thought that if I could fix things between us, then you'd see that I'm not leaving again. That I could see Christopher and we could be happy again."

"About that," Eddie said, hating the way fear entered her eyes. Fear that he might tell her that she could never see her son again because she left him. As if he could be that cruel. "You spend Christmas with us, if you'd like."

"Really?" Shannon asked, smile lighting up her face and for the first time since she's been back, Eddie noticed that it didn't make his heart race and his cheeks flush like it used to. Eddie nodded silently. "Yeah, I'd really like that." Taking a breath, she blinked away her tears before looking up at him. "So, divorce, huh?"

"Yeah," Eddie nodded again. "It's the right thing to do."

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide?" Shannon asked and Eddie hesitated. How exactly did you tell your wife - no matter the fact that it was his soon to be ex-wife - that you had fallen in love with someone else? With a man? Seeing his hesitance, Shannon starting putting the pieces together. "Is there someone else?"

Eddie opened his mouth immediately wanting to object. Then he just let out a sigh and decided to tell the truth. He was tired of lying. "Sort of."

"What does 'sort of' mean?" Shannon frowned.

With a huff, Eddie plopped down on the couch next to her. "It means, I'm in love with someone, but I have no idea if he feels the same." And Eddie cursed himself the moment it was out.

"He?" Shannon echoed with raised eyebrows. Then realisation set in on her face. "It's Buck, isn't it?"

Eddie gaped at her in a very unattractive manner. "What? How did you know?"

"You mean besides the fact that you talk more about him than about Christopher? I just wrote it off to you being best friends and spending so much time together, but now, looking at it from another point of view, the sexual tension between the two of you can easily be spotted." Shannon shrugged.

"Wha- there is no sexual tension between us." Eddie hissed sharply, feeling his cheeks heat up at the mere thought and his defensive hackles rose.

Shannon snorted an amused laugh. "Yeah, okay, whatever you say."

Ignoring his soon to be ex-wife, Eddie rolled his eyes before changing the subject as a little bit of hope swelled in his chest.

Maybe Shannon wasn't seeing things, maybe Buck did feel something for him too.

He'd talk to Buck soon.

**9-1-1**

Christmas passed, so did New Year's, plus the whole of January and Eddie still hasn't pulled together the courage to start that conversation with his best friend. It didn't help that his feelings grew stronger and rooted deeper into his heart and soul with each passing day.

But how did you start a conversation like that in the first place?

Did Eddie just go up to him and say, 'Uh, hey Buck, so I realised that I'm in love with you and my ex-wife said that there is sexual tension between us so I just wanted to know if she's right and if there's any chance you'd like to go out with me?'. Yeah, no. Not happening.

Supressing a sigh as he walked into the firestation, Eddie shouldered his duffle up higher and looked around the ground floor of the station. His feet came to an automatic halt when he saw Buck in the men's locker room, his back to them, and a red-headed woman standing in front of Buck. Eddie couldn't make out her face, but her hair was hard to miss.

Eddie frowned as he walked over to where Hen and Chimney stood by the ambulance, busy not so discreetly staring at the men's locker room.

"Who's that?" He asked, frown deeping when Buck threw his head back and laughed heartily. Eddie's been on the recieving end of one of those laughs a few times and the last few weeks, it left him feeling all warm and fuzzy. Now it just left him with searing jealousy burning brightly in his chest and his heart aching.

"Abby." Chim answered when Hen just locked her jaw and glared over at the could.

Eddie's eyebrows rose as his jaw dropped. "Abby? As in, Abby who left Buck to travel the world indefinitely? That Abby?"

"The one and only." Chim grinned as he answered once more, but Eddie noticed that his eyes didn't have any trace of amusement in them. Hen just grimaced as she huffed.

When none of the two other firefighters said anything else, Eddie turned his gaze back to the couple. After a few minutes of more talking, Buck suddenly embraced the red-head warmly. Eddie still couldn't see Buck's face, but he could see the soft smile on Abby's face as she stood on her tiptoes and rested her chin on his shoulder as her hands came up to rest in between his shoulder blades.

Pain shot through Eddie's chest and he involentarily sucked in a sharp breath of air to try and get rid of it. Out of the corner of his eyes, he was Chimey and Hen turning their heads to him in unison.

The brunette rounded on them and walked away. He didn't want to see their faces, see the pity in their eyes. And he most certainly didn't want them to see the tears that clouded his.

Eddie had no one to blame but himself. He had gotten his hopes up and he had waited for the right moment to ask Buck if there was any chance that he might feel the same. If he didn't, Eddie would get over his feelings and he would pray that Buck would still want to be his friend.

Eddie cursed himself.

He waited to long and now his chance was gone.

**9-1-1**

Three days later, the squad sat around the table, eating a delicious omelette with whatever filling you wanted, made by their very own Chef. Eddie choose a simple filling of bacon and cheese, momentarily forgetting about the pain in his heart as his taste buds exploded. Having decided to give the Valentine's Day decor that was up around the station the stink eye the whole morning, was exhausting and he was hungry.

His actions stilled when Buck sat down at the table next to him for second before he resumed eating. But it was a second long enough for the ever observant Buck to notice it.

The blonde leaned over to Eddie. "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Eddie asked, a bit sharper than he intended. Guilt gnawed at his stomach when Buck recoiled, like someone had slapped him through the face. "Sorry," He sighed. "Just tired."

And it wasn't a lie. He spent the last three nights awake and driving himself crazy with 'what ifs'.

What if Buck did feel something for him, but he was just to late? What if Abby stays? What if she and Buck gets married and have kids?

Eddie's stomach churned so violently at the last thought that he had to get up from the table. He raced down the stairs and reached the bathroom, ran into the nearest stall just in time to empty his stomach into the toilet bowl. He made sure to shut the cubical door behind him, because there was no doubt in his mind that Buck would have followed after him.

He was proven right when the outside door opened and Buck's voice echoed in the restroom. "Eddie! Eddie, are you okay?"

"Fine." He called back weakly. Buck was outside his door in a second, hands banging lightly against the door.

And he really wasn't. None of this was fine. Buck isn't his. He shouldn't get upset enough to loose his stomach contents at the thought of Buck and Abby together.

After wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Eddie sat down on the floor, leaning against the door that Buck was still lightly banging on as he was shooting question after question, sounding more worried with every word that passed his lips and the brunette didn't reply.

"Eddie, are you okay? Do you need me to get Hen or Chim? Was the omelette raw? What did you eat yesterday? Could you please say something? You could have food poisioning, you know. Do you want me to take you to the hospital? Oh my God, did you pass out?"

"No, Buck, I'm not passed out. I just need a minute, okay?" Eddie finally answered, stopping the storm of questions before Buck tried to kick open the stall door. If asked later, he would blame the way his voice broke on the fact that he threw up.

This was so unfair. Eddie closed his eyes tightly to try and hold back the tears. Stupid Buck and his stupid kind heart that made Eddie fall even deeper for him. The concern in his voice made Eddie's heart swell and hope rise in his chest, but the medic made sure to squash it down quickly.

"Okay." Buck answered quietly. A few seconds later, Eddi heard the outside door open and shut, signaling that Buck had left.

Letting his head bang against the back of the door, Eddie mentally scolded himself. He was a grown man with a child that was his whole world. He couldn't afford to behave like this. Like he was a fourteen year old with a broken heart.

But that's just it, isn't it?

His heart is broken. Has been for the last three days since he saw Buck and Abby together.

Pulling himself together, Eddie flushed the toilet and wiped at his cheeks before opening the stall door and walking to the basin. He rinsed his mouth and splashed his cheeks with water, when the door open. Eddie kept his eyes down, not in the mood to talk to anyone.

Then his toothbrush and toothpaste was placed down next to him and rocks formed in his throat when he looked up and met Buck's worried eyes. Giving his best friend a greatful smile, Eddie started brushing his teeth.

Buck leaned against the basin next to him, not taking his eyes off Eddie.

"Talk to me, man." Buck said when Eddie rinsed and spat for the last time.

"I can't." Eddie shook his head firmly.

"Can't or won't?" Buck countered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Eddie considered it for a moment. "Both."

"I thought we were friends." Buck said, clenching his jaw tightly, and Eddie's heart ached even more at the hurt in his voice.

"We are," Eddie nodded. "But this is something I have to work through on my own."

"I'm here." Buck said after a moment. "If you change your mind, I'm here."

"Thanks." Eddie gave him a weak smile before picking up his toothbrush and toothpaste and making his way to the door. Buck reached it first and opened it, gesturing for Eddie to leave first with a wide grin. Rolling his eyes to hide the fact that his stomach fluttered from the small action, Eddie quickly walked away.

Buck caught up with him easily and walked all the way to the locker room with him.

**9-1-1**

Buck didn't know what to do or what to say. He watched Eddie as the medic put away his toothpaste and -brush. He hoped the brunette wasn't to angry at him going into his locker to get it for him. Buck was worried about Eddie throwing up out of nowhere.

Watching over him as Eddie sat down on the bench in the locker room, Buck tried to figure out what was wrong with his best friend. He was in the middle of asking Eddie if he didn't want to go home and sleep, because he looked exhausted, when the man just bolted out of his seat and raced down the stairs and to the bathroom.

Buck followed hot on his heels, hearing the tell-tale sounds of vomiting as he catched up to the medic. The sounds stopped by the time he entered the bathroom and he went into an epic panic.

Looking at the brunette, worry tugged at his stomach. What if Eddie was really, seriously sick? What if Buck lost him before he had the chance to tell him that he loves him?

That thought made Buck chest feel tight.

Thinking back to when he realised how he feels, Buck couldn't help but feel the panic and worry in his chest loosen somewhat. It was last year Christmas, when he and Eddie went to visit Santa with Christoper.

It was all going fine. They were just two best friends hanging out. He and Eddie even had a talk about Eddie's wife. Then that damned elf just had to go and open her mouth, telling him about how he and Eddie has an adorable son.

Denial was on the tip of his tongue, but when Buck's heart took over his mind and he ended up thanking the elf and skipping away giddily, Buck realised some things.

He realised that he spent more time with Eddie and Christopher than he did with Maddie. He realised that making Eddie smile and seeing Christoper was the best parts of his day. He realised that he wants to take care of Eddie like he's never wanted to take care of anyone, not even Abby. He realised that he rarely thought about Abby nowadays and it was always just Eddie and Christoper and Eddie's abs and Eddie's smile and Christopher's favourite toys and Eddie's laugh.

In short, Evan Buckley realised that he was so very fucked when it came to Eddie Diaz.

Buck wanted nothing more than to announce his love to Eddie and the world, but his joy came crashing down on him with the weight of the world when he remembered that Eddie is married and he is trying to work things out with his wife.

So, Buck promised himself that he'd never tell Eddie about his feelings. That he'd be there for Eddie when he needs him and support him no matter what.

Buck suffered in silence for a month when Abby suddenly showed up.

Three days ago, Abby was waiting for him at the firestation when he came to work.

Seeing her for the first time in almost a year, Buck was overjoyed.

Two minutes into their conversation, Buck found himself comparing Abby's blue eyes to hazel eyes that was flashing in his mind every couple of minutes. Then compared her soft and curvy body to the firm muscle and toned biceps that belonged to his best friend.

And when Abby asked him if he wanted to have dinner with him after his shift, Buck couldn't lie to her. She deserved better than that. She deserves someone who isn't going to compare her to someone else.

With a sad smile and a regetful 'I knew I took to long to come back' from Abby, Buck gave her a tight hug and apologised for falling out of love with her. She swore it was okay and Buck finally thanked her in person for making him a better man.

When she left, Buck felt sad to watch her go because she was still amazing and part of him will always love her and miss her even if she no longer held his heart in her hands. They were friends long before they became more.

Before he knew it, three days had passed since she came back and he went back to silently loving Eddie.

**9-1-1**

Eddie dropped his hands from his face and finally pushed himself up from the bench, noticing that Buck was still in the locker room with him. Despite his best efforts, his traitorous heart sped up and his lips twitched, desperately wanting to spread into a smile.

Buck saw Eddie get up and watched as the corners of his mouth quirked. When Eddie's eyes flickered around the room, Buck scrambled for a topic of conversation. He knew the other man well enough to know his tells. And right now, Eddie was looking for a way to escape.

"Are you and Shannon doing anything special for Valentine's Day?" Buck blurted. Immediately he wanted to bang his head against the lockers because he most certainly didn't want a detailed description of what the person he's in love with is going to do with his wife one the most romantic day of the year.

Eddie frowned before his eyes lit up in realisation. "No. We, uh, we're actually getting a divorce. I've been meaning to tell you, but it must have slipped my mind.

Buck brightened at the news. All this time, he's kept his feelings a secret because Eddie is married. But if he's getting a divorce, then the brunette is fair game, right? His rational side quickly shot that thought down and pointed out that getting a divorce doesn't mean he can just pounce on the medic.

"Dude, I'm so sorry." Buck said, pushing down his desires. Right now, Eddie needs a friend, not to be seduced. And he really was sorry, because he knew Eddie was working hard to fix things between him and Shannon.

Although come to think of it, Eddie hasn't really mentioned Shannon since before Christmas. Has things been falling apart for that long? Or did Eddie pick up on Buck's feelings and decided to spare himof having to hear about it?

"I'm not." Eddie shrugged unapologetically. "I mean, I am sorry that Chris is going to have to grow up in two homes, but I'm not sorry that we're going out seperate ways. I'm not in love with her anymore and pretending that I am is just going to hurt Chris more in the long run." He explained, looking way to adorable for Buck's heart.

"Still, it can't be easy."

"It's not, but we're figuring it out." Eddie smiled softly, heart warming from Buck's concern. Pushing those thoughts away because it could lead him nowhere good, Eddie cleared his throat. "What about you and Abby?"

Eddie was equally surprised and proud at how even his voice came out.

"Me and Abby?" Buck frowned.

"Yeah, you know, Valentine's Day?" Eddie reminded him with a light laugh that made his heart ache to let out.

"We're not together." Buck said firmly, his tone leaving no room for any doubt.

"But I thought - When she stopped by the other day . . ." Eddie trailed off, confusion spreading through his mind. And maybe, just maybe, a little hope started to bloom in his heart.

Buck, who hasn't taken his eyes off Eddie's since the moment the medic said that he's getting divorced, saw the sliver of hope that grew in Eddie's hazel orbs when he shook his head. His heart stuttered in his chest as his own hope started grow in his chest.

"No! No, that's over." The blonde's tone was serious and firm.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked, pushing aside his own feelings once again, because from what he heard, Buck was deeply in love with Abby.

"Yeah," Buck nodded, his pearly whites coming onto display with the smile he gave Eddie. Latching onto that look of hope in Eddie's eyes with all of his might and praying to God that he wasn't reading this whole situation all wrong, he said, "Turns out, while I was waiting for her to come back, I've been falling in love with someone else without even realising it."

Eddie's breath hitched in his throat at the pointed look Buck gave him.

There was no way. Was there?

The hope started to grow stronger.

"Oh." Was his very intelligent response, his heart starting to thunder in his chest when Buck's look didn't waver.

Buck snorted, "Not exactly the reaction I was looking for."

It was like a weight was lifted from Eddie's chest. The weight of weeks of fighting with himself, sleepless night spent wondering if he was out of his mind was suddenly cut free and Eddie could just breathe.

"Well, that's wasn't exactly a very spesific confession. I mean, there's literally billions of someone's in this world." Eddie retorted with a grin that spread so easily, so honestly. He felt so incredibly giddy. But there was also a side of him that wondered if he was wrong. So he needed to be sure. Just in case.

Buck took a step closer, and then another. He kept going until he was up in Eddie's space and they could feel each other's body heat.

"Well, this someone happens to be two inches shorter than me, has awesome abs and an adorable kid named Chistopher." Buck said with a wide grin on his face. Eddie realised that there was no mistake. This was real. And for the first time, Eddie embraced his feelings for Buck instead of pushing them away.

A sly grin spread on Eddie's lips.

"Lots of people has kids name Christop-" The rest of the medic's teasing remark was cut off as Buck muttered _'oh for fuck sakes'_ under his breath before claiming Eddie's lips with his own.

It was barely a kiss. Just a soft yet determined pair of lips pressing against another pair very pointedly. The meaning unmistakable.

Buck pulled away almost immediately, chanting to himself that they were in the locker room that has glass windows and if he kept his lips to Eddie's any longer, he would completely loose any semblance of self-control because he already wanted more of the brunette, wanted anything and everything Eddie was willing to give him.

And also because he really didn't think Bobby would appreciate it if he ripped all of Eddie's clothes off where everyone could see them.

Besides, what was underneath Eddie's clothes wasn't meant for anyone's eyes but his own to devour.

"Get it now?" Buck asked, voice low and rough.

"Yeah, yeah." Eddie nodded dazedly, his mind short circuited from both the fact that back actually returns his feelings and that he kissed him. Clearing his throat and pulling himself together, Eddie tried again. "Yeah, I get it."

"So, I take it that you feel the same?" Buck asked shyly, heat spreading to his cheeks, tucking his hands into the front of his jean pockets.

That's when Eddie realised that he never let anything on about his own feelings while Buck was busy confessing to him.

"I do." Eddie nodding, feeling heat creeping up his cheeks as he bit down on his bottom lip. Buck's eyes zeroed in on the motion for a long second before he groaned and tore his eyes away.

"Fuck." He swore softly and Eddie let out a startled laugh. The blonde looked up at the brunette accusingly. "Forget stupid heroics," Buck huffed. "You're going to be the death of me, Diaz."

"Sorry." Eddie smirked, looking way to pleased with himself and not the least bit apologetic.

"So, you want to have dinner with me on Valentine's Day?" Buck asked after a moments silence.

Eddie's eyebrows rose. "Didn't take you for the Valentine's type."

"I'm not. Well, Buck 1.0 wasn't. Buck 2.0 is." Buck explained, a light frown between his brows as he explained.

Eddie snorted in amusement at how the blonde discribed himself. "Well, Shannon has been bugging me about getting Christopher for Valentine's Day."

The megawatt smile Buck gave him took his breath away.

**Author's Note: **A little dramatic, well the past when Eddie threw up because of thinking about Abby and Buck together was - btw, that was not because he thought it was gross but because he doesn't want Buck with anyone but himself - but eh, I'm new to this fandom so have mercy. I hope you enjoyed my little fic!


End file.
